I went to Costco the other day and while I was walking through the giant walk in fridge an older Armenian man in his 60’s stops me. He holds up a bottle of POM (pomegranate juice) and he says “Excuse me young man. Can you tell me when this bottle expires? I left my glasses in the car.” I say “of course. It expires in March 2020.” He says “thank you” and we both go our separate ways. Three minutes later I am in an aisle picking up iced tea and I see an older man running with his cart, it’s the same old man. He picks up speed and he hops on the back of the cart and rides it all the way to the registers. Everyone who saw it had a big smile on their face. Moral of the story: You’re never too old to to ride a shopping cart. – aGIANTmonster

Yo! I’m back from Vegas.

That was a pretty interesting trip to say the least. We arrived on Friday, it was 109 degrees and it was raining for about an hour. That’s the hottest weather I’ve ever felt rain in. It was so humid that your skin feels like its burning in the shade. My friend E bought some new Jordan’s and he was so excited about wearing them on Saturday for lunch, he kept talking about how he got them, and how he doesn’t even buy expensive Jordan’s anymore; he was pumped to say the least. Unfortunately, that never happened due to a very unique circumstance. Our friend EM came back to the hotel after the club. (E and Ko decided to stay out a bit later.) It was around 3:30 am, he was drunk and I was super faded. I had smoked a bowl of Gelato 30 mins before he arrived. He gets to the room and we start eating while watching Martin on TV. EM had a long and stressful day, he wanted to unwind a little more. He demands that I pack us a bowl of Gelato. I oblige, and pack us a nice sized bowl. He takes two hits, makes a few jokes and he goes off to bed. I finish the bowl and get into bed 15 mins after him. I was super faded. As I’m falling asleep, I can feel EM moving around in bed a lot. He gets up and says, “I have to take a piss!” I say “cool”, and I shut my eyes. The only problem was the bathroom is to the right of the bed, but this guy goes to the left. He stands in the corner and he starts pissing onto the floor and E’s brand new J’s. I can hear a puddle of pee forming. I realize what is going on, keep in mind, I’m still super faded so my reaction was slow. I yell “WHAT THE FUCK are you doing?!” EM gets shocked and yells “I have to pee!” His drunk ass thinks I followed him into the bathroom. But I followed him into the corner of the room, lol. I yell “bro, you just peed on the wall, the curtains but mostly E’s Jordans.” He looks down and goes “oh shit.” Then EM starts moon walking across the whole room so that he can wipe the little bit of pee that ended up on his foot. He laughs and says “HA, I peed on the floor”, then he goes back to sleep. EM is the nicest dude ever, he would never do something like this to hurt anyone, nor would he ever want to ruin the room; but when you’re drunk as fuck, you’re drunk as fuck. What can I say? E and Ko arrive 30 mins after piss gate. I decide to tell them in the morning. E and Ko are talking nonsense, EM is passed out and I’m still super faded and I can’t make a proper decision. The next morning I tell E and he says “Thanks for telling me. I was about to take a shower and wear those out right now. I would have been standing in a puddle of piss.” We have a laugh about it, and they settle things between the two of them. Fucking interesting night. A few more things happened, but I can save those stories for another day.

-aGIANTmonster

Before Uber existed you would see everybody leaving the bars and clubs at around the same time. Drunk ass people would be walking to their cars or waiting at valet, 95% of people drove home. Imagine how many people across all of LA County driving on the streets and freeways in the same time frame. Then Lyft and Uber came out and the whole drunk driving game changed. Now there really isn’t an excuse to drive home drunk, unless you drove far as fuck and you don’t want to spend $35 each way. But other than that, I would say around 75% – 85% of people take Uber or Lyft home. It’s better for everybody. Less drunk people driving is obviously a great thing and your driver gets to make a little money on the side. Win, win.

-aGIANTmonster